It’s been raining in Portland for what feels like weeks… Finally stopped today. I slept in. I played with my dog. I watched several games of March Madness. I talked to a family member I hadn’t talked to in quite awhile. Then I read my Bible. I prayed. I read a chapter of another book that spiritually impacted me. Then I read several chapters of What to Expect When You’re Expecting trying to learn a little more about what Lisa is going through. Today was a good day.
Lisa got home after an 8-hour work day, so I drew her a bath and lit some candles. Being 4 months pregnant makes it hard to be on your feet all day. She seemed to really enjoy it. And I got to watch more sports! Today was a good day.
When she got out we talked about how our days went, and talked about some summer plans we had. Then it all went downhill from there. I don’t know if it was pregnancy hormones, or if I was being super insensitive, or a combination of the two. But my good day came to a crashing halt at 10pm after being really happy.
Now I’m in my office alone. Praying.
It’s that moment where you’re reflecting on the whole conversation wondering where it went wrong. What did I say that made her so upset? What did she say that made me so upset? How did it escalate so quickly?
“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard…”
Whenever I’m angry with my wife I feel like God reminds me of this verse. It’s not because I’m thinking of leaving her, or anything irrational. It’s because I think he wants to tell me, “This is what a hard heart leads to. Stop being so angry. You need to soften your heart towards her.”
Every marriage has disagreements and fights. Probably every married person can tell a number of stories that range from 1 to 10 on any scale of ridiculousness. But what matters is that after blows have been exchanged and things have cooled down, you close the loop. Make sure nothing is festering. Make sure your heart isn’t hard.
I’m going to go close the loop.
Today was a good day.