I’m A Dad

I haven’t posted anything since May. Working in youth ministry, the three months of summer are always the busiest of the year. We work extra days, work late, and put our families through some neglect in an effort to put on the best camps possible. Things start to slow down in August, and most staff members try to squeeze in a vacation before the school year starts. I decided I wanted to revisit my blog and write.

In the middle of working on a piece (that I was very excited about), my life sped back up to the pace I’d been running all summer (probably even a little crazier pace). My son was born.

On Tuesday, August 21^st, at 7:41pm, Asher James Hillis came into this world at 7lbs 7oz, and 19.25 in long.

I’m a dad.

The last six weeks have been a blur. Family in town for visits, friends coming over, meals being dropped off, doctor appointments, diapers, spit-up, sleepless nights, and more. Somehow I managed to go back to work in the middle of it all. But I love it.

I’m a dad.

What has been the weirdest part is that none of it feels weird. People keep asking me, “Is it weird now that you’re a parent?” No. I’ve been waiting and preparing for this for so long, and now that my son is here, it just feels right. It feels normal. Holding a baby isn’t weird. Changing diapers isn’t weird. Staying up til 3 am in a rocking chair isn’t weird. It feels like it’s supposed to. And I love it.

I’m a dad.

I’ve heard that another aspect of God comes to light when you have children. It’s as if there’s another piece of Him that you understand better. I think I’m kind of starting to get it. When I’m holding Asher and looking at his sleeping face, there’s a feeling inside that can’t be described. It’s an overwhelming feeling of care, and love, and desire to protect. I can only imagine the strength of that feeling growing as Asher gets bigger, starts walking and talking, forming his gifts and talents, and becoming who he is created to be. The boy doesn’t even have control over his arms yet, and I’m already dreaming about where he’ll be in 20 years, and all there is in between.

I’m a dad.

If you haven’t figured it out, I’m a dad, and I’m pretty pumped about it. I just wrote and re-wrote three paragraphs trying to sound spiritual and tie this into God somehow—to make the blog look more worthy. But I deleted it all because I realized I just want to write and say I’m excited. To know that I’m a part of creating another life is simply incredible. I just keep saying in astonishment: “I’m a dad.” It’s finally here. It finally happened.

I have a son.